And for the first time
I feel as though I am reborn
In my mind
Recast as child and mystic sage.

I’ve been studying up on the psychology of weight loss, and something very interesting revealed itself to me today.

Random Fact #11: I use food for protection.

See, at some point in my young life, I developed a fear of being abandoned. As a result, I started packing on fat like it was a suit of armor, so that, if anybody ever left me, it would be because I was fat and not because there was anything wrong with me.

Now, I realize just how silly that is and I release the desperate and hopeless need I’ve always felt to be skinny yesterday.

12) My life is amazing.

I have a hard time remembering this sometimes, because…

13) Despite the common belief that I am a ray of sunshine and optimism, I’m actually a Debbie Downer.

This one may be obvious to some & hard to believe for others. For anyone who knew me in high school (and through freshman year in college), I was once an emotional wreck. It breaks my heart that those people don’t know how much I’ve changed (literally, through the power of love and positive thinking). Unfortunately, certain people (mainly Daniel), don’t have the pleasure of knowing the strong, confident, outgoing, optimistic Kaleigh. Why? Because deep down, I’m still a little unsure. I’m still distrustful of having too much of a good thing. I still think just around the corner, something bad is probably waiting for me. The difference is that now, I truly believe God has a plan for me (I did before, too, but not in an “I release all control” kind of way), and that now, when the shit hits the fan, I’ll make it out alright.

14) Maybe I am a ray of sunshine & optimism.

15) I believe in the power of positive thinking ^^

16) I am fascinated by ancient cultures and their beliefs, and have been known to practice ancient Chinese remedies, meditation, and spend considerably too much time learning about Greek paiderasteia after watching the movie “Troy.”

17) I don’t have cable. I intend to do better things for myself instead, like learn more and finish my book.

18) I have yet to determine what I define as “success.”

19) I refuse to have people in my life who make me feel bad about myself.

20) In less than 12 hours, I will have bought my first home.