I don’t know what you need to hear, but I’ll tell you this: something big is coming. As we move into the standard New Year’s resolution time frame, I want to remind you–specifically you–that you are right where you need to be to hear this message.

If you want this next year (or decade) to somehow be different than the last, you need to start listening.

Every time you compromise unwillingly, you sow seeds for bitterness. Every time you make a promise to yourself that you don’t intend to keep, you sow seeds for diminished self-worth. Every time you allow someone to treat you poorly because it is easier, because you have too much riding on the other person, or because of your situation, you’re permitting their behavior–not only for them, but for everyone who acts like them.

Treat yourself as you would a loved one. Take care of yourself. Build walls where appropriate, tear down others. Don’t take people’s opinions to heart–they reflect themselves, and only themselves. If you’ve loved someone you couldn’t keep, know that their rejection is reflective of their current moment in time and not of you. Still, be better. Start listening.

There is a small voice that tells you exactly what you feel. It whispers to you in your worst moments what you know to be true. Explore that. Cognitive dissonance doesn’t come from believing two contrary things at once. No, we must always believe two contrary things at once (this is where balance comes from). The discomfort of cognitive dissonance comes instead from wanting to believe one thing, but knowing in your soul that it is false. Let the ideas that don’t fit you anymore go. You have grown, you have changed. You can always rebuild on new ground once you sell the old house.

Forgive yourself for who you needed to be to get you here, to this moment. Remember that you are alive, but that one day you will not be. In the US, someone dies every twelve seconds; I imagine many of them would kill for your thick thighs, or your anxiety, or your gray hair. For your mother, or your ex. For your problems. These things are only a chapter, and one day the final seal will be placed and you’ll no longer be able to change the words. If you want to do a rewrite, get started now.

Think of everyone not as someone, but as yourself. Give them grace. Take time to understand their perspective, then decide if they enhance your life. Remember that the only thing we want is to be seen, to feel like someone understands. We want this more than love–this is why all the fame, all the friends, all the success in the world feels hollow, because love is not the answer. The answer is building relationships that see your flaws, understand them, and then support you while you improve. This is what you deserve, so cut out whatever is holding you back.

If your purpose in life is to fulfill your potential, then you owe it to the world to do so. Do not get trapped in the monotony and forget why you’re here. If you don’t know why yet, then start asking. Reach out to anyone you feel you must. They are just people; there is no need to be insecure. The worst thing that could happen is that they reject you, in which case you are no worse off. Best case, they are exactly what you need. There is no need to be insecure; you have something to offer every room you walk into–something to teach and to be taught. Insecurity makes us small, and being small makes us bitter. Bitterness makes us mean, and being mean makes us lonely. There’s no time for that. Own yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. Reflect on why you repeat your patterns–are they comfortable? Are you afraid? Have you built your life upon a falsehood? If you have, then it is not your life. You’re guest starring when somewhere there is a role you were born to play. You’re robbing the world of that person.

Now, go out and go forth and go set the world on fire with your passions. Wishing you all the best for 2020. ❤