Feeling pretty relaxed. The invites are out, my Citrix Cert exam is over (and passed), and all that’s left is to coast on through the wedding.. Right?
So I’ve been struggling lately with this urge to do something big. And I don’t just mean change the world, become a CEO, or mother 10 children, although those are all equally big in their own right. I don’t want to be the president. I don’t even want to be a politician (unless it was in some alternate universe where it could be done by being yourself and not having to be political…. which will never happen). No, instead, I want to be known. To be famous. To be something bigger than myself. To be a part of a cult phenomenon. To be an artist. Or a musician. Or something.
I’m not alone in this. Just ask the millions of little boys (and grown men) who wanted to be a superhero. Ask the generation of disappointed 11-year-olds who never got their letters from Hogwarts. Ask anyone who has ever read a book to escape, to go on an adventure, or to otherwise be someone else for a while.
Unfortunately, knowing I’m not alone merely makes the feeling worse.
So now I feel the need to set my soul on fire for something. Get really passionate about something… almost eccentric, even. Become the crazy lady with paint in her hair, or the director whose movies upset the audience so much that they’re still thinking the ideas over a week later. I mean, I want to leave an impression on people.
I need a plan.