How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

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I realize this theme occurs pretty commonly in my posts, but I’d like to take a moment to talk about things like worry, value, and journey (no, not the rocktastic band, although “Don’t Stop Believing” and a car full of friends makes for the 2nd greatest karaoke memory behind “Bohemian Rhapsody”).

Philippians 4:4-7:

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

And another great (loose) quote my dad stole from I don’t know who:

“You spend 50% of your time worrying about things that never come to fruition, and 50% of the time, you never see things coming. You’re doing the right amount of worrying about the wrong things.”

This is absolutely me. I’m “not a worrier,” as defined by most people who know me. That said, the most ridiculous and irrelevant things will set me off on a stress bender. I spend a lot of time thinking about the future, but often lack the ability to enjoy the present. Most everyone is this way, I think, but it’s hard to imagine that once I get where I’ve been thinking of, I’ll be thinking of somewhere else I can be. Where’s the value in that?

“We’re flawed, because we want so much more. We’re ruined, because we get these things, and wish for what we had.”
–Don Draper

Twenty-two years young. Four years ago, I was graduating high school and nervous about moving out and going to college. Now? I’m doing the same thing all over again, except that for the first time in 18 years, I won’t be starting class again in the fall. The funny thing is that I’m acutely and painfully aware that I’m naively optimistic. (Does it even count as being naive if you know better? Or is it merely denial? Either way, I prefer optimism). I like to think that my life, now perfect, will stay pretty much that way forever and that this will be the case through the help of a positive attitude. I do believe in the power of mindset as previously discussed, but I always worry that five years from now, I’ll come back and read this and think, “Wow, I was so naive.”

But you can’t worry about things like that. You can’t worry about anything. I once saw on some TV show a guy talking to another guy about losing loved ones. He said, “Everybody loses everybody and then, one day, your time’s up, too.” It seems so simple, but I find it comforting. This is the “bomb,” and you have no choice but to sit back and watch as it happens. You might as well enjoy it. Learn to love it!

Everyday, I will do a million things I’ve done before and maybe, if I’m lucky, one or two things I haven’t. All the while, I’ll be making a memory every third week and the rest fades into the blur known as passing time. So here’s what I find interesting: life and time occur exactly like Hemingway said bankruptcy does.

“Two ways: slowly, then suddenly.”

I’m in the suddenly portion of my college/school career, and I’m okay with that. Time marches on, and I’ve spent four years lingering in the slowly. It’s interesting how easily we adjust to things. So easily, in fact, that it doesn’t take long before we forgot what it was like before. I don’t remember much of being a child, or living at home, or before Daniel and I started dating (5 years ago! Can you believe it?!). This apartment here in College Station, my new best friends, school and class, these are all my new normal. It’s crazy to think that one day I won’t remember where my apartment here was or what life was like before I started working. You’d think you could never forget. In a few years, I might be married with a house, a kid, and a dog and all of this life will seem so foreign to me. Almost as if I’d seen a movie where this happened but I can’t remember when or what it was called.

I realize I’m rambling on, but I just want everyone to take a minute, look around, and remember this moment in your life. Actively TRY and remember this. Because this is your journey, and you only get this one chance to make sure that when you get to the pearly gates and sit through the playback you’re please with how it went.

And find the value in it. Love the bomb.

2 Replies to “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.”

  1. The metaphor I have used to comfort (and enjoy) myself over the years is: “Your house is on fire. A really bad fire. Once you make the decision to let it burn down (because it’s so aflame it definitely will anyway) and quit trying to save it, there is no longer a crisis. Once you’ve accepted you can’t change what is happening to your house you will be filled with the calmness and comfort in that comes with acceptance.” I feel it is very similar to how I feel about God; I am filled with Peace when I remember he is in control of my house. He blesses my house in so many ways, but eventually he will ‘burn it down’ so I revel in every good and bad experience. I am glad someone else isn’t afraid of the bomb πŸ™‚ It makes life much more beautiful.

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